Life is weird. I don't know if it's turning 40, 50, or just waking up one random Tuesday and realizing your kids no longer need you to cut their pancakes, although they would love it if I did!! (Ha!) But at some point, it becomes very clear and I started to wonder why no one told me some of these things earlier … I could have saved a lot of time, energy, and emotional stress, not to mention questionable hairstyles.
I made a list that I wish I could have received years ago. I would have loved to received it laminated with a glass of wine and a warning about low-rise jeans. These are all the things women over 55 say, “If I had only known…” Honestly, same.
1. Your Time Is Actually Valuable
For a long time, I’ve given away my time like it was on clearance and free to take. School volunteering? Sure! Want to run errands for someone? I’ll do it. I’ve said yes to things I really didn’t want to do. But now, I protect my time like it is the last chocolate in the house. I do not have a time machine to get it back, and when you realize how much you’ve given away, time is priceless.
2. Saying “No” Is Not Rude
This one took way too long. I used to say yes, and sit there folding laundry thinking about all the ways I should've said no. Turns out, a simple I can't is perfectly acceptable. No long explanation. No guilt. Just no. It's honestly freeing and a little addictive.
3. Friendships Change—and That’s Okay
Some friendships last for a long time and others fade similarly to that one houseplant that you thought you were going to keep alive. These things are normal. People change, priorities shift, and life moves. It doesn't mean someone failed. It just means the season ended. New friendships arrive at just the right time.
4. You Don’t Need Everyone to Like You
I can’t help but wonder how much more stress I could have avoided in my 20’s and 30’s. Not everyone will like you, and you probably don’t like everyone either. Once you come to that realization, everything becomes so much easier. You stop doing a performance and just start to exist. It becomes very ‘take it or leave it’, and I mean that in the best possible way.
5. Your Body Is Not the Enemy
For years, I nitpicked my reflection like I was trying to get cast in some sort of production. What was the point? Your body supports you through all of life's highs and lows like raising kids, stressful days, and joyful moments. It should be appreciated, not constantly criticized. And let me tell you, I will never be sold on the idea that comfy pants are not a blessing.
6. Sunscreen Is Non-Negotiable
If I could turn back time I'd slather myself in sunblock. Not in a strange way of course, you catch my drift. Taking care of your skin isn't about making it look pretty, it's about protecting it. Those tiny little imperfections that you dismissed in your 30s, yeah, well guess what? They become super obvious later on down the road. Consider this a lesson learned.
7. Money Matters More Than You Think
I have always been frugal, but I wish I'd been more deliberate about it earlier. Save money, invest, understand finances. It may seem boring, but it's empowering. When unexpected events occur in life, it feels good to know you have a financial cushion.
8. Comparison Is a Waste of Time
There's always going to be someone posting about a bigger house, cleaner kitchen, or a seemingly perfect life. But when it comes to your life, comparison is going to steal your joy faster than my dog Gigi steals food off the counter. So focus on your life, because that is what really matters.
9. Your Kids Don’t Need Perfection
I stressed over every detail. I made sure to plan scheduled meals and made memories. However, my kids remember things like movie nights and inside jokes. I guess they didn't need everything to be perfect. They just wanted me to be there. Probably with snacks.
10. Marriage Takes Effort (and Humor)
Here is the thing: If you can appreciate each other's sense of humor, you are on the right track! My husband, for instance, still has no clue where half the kitchen items belong, and at this point, I think he never will figure it out. But, you learn to choose your battles—and sometimes, just put a label on the drawers.
11. Rest Is Not Lazy
All this time, I felt somewhat guilty about sitting down. Like if I wasn't being productive, I was failing. Now I understand that resting is not only okay, it is necessary. You recharge, reset, and honestly you become a way nicer person to be around.
12. Trends Come and Go
You shouldn't go with every trend. In five years a lot of those looks will be outdated. Go with what looks good to you. You'll always win with a classic look, and you won't be freezing because a jacket "ruins the outfit."
13. Your Health Is Everything
You don’t know how critical your health is until something feels wrong. Caring for yourself is not selfish; it is necessary. Doctor visits, exercise, proper nutrition, etc. – all of it is important. And even if it’s boring, drinking water really does make a difference.
14. You Can Always Start Over
New career? New hobby? New mindset? It's never too late! Many of us set arbitrary boundaries that hold us back from pursuing our goals, but there are no real deadlines in life. 40 and 50 are just ages; life actually gets more exciting because you start to discover who you are.
15. Not Everything Needs a Reaction
This one is so good. Sometimes silence says more than words. There is no need to respond to every disagreement or defend every opinion; peace really is priceless.
16. A Clean Kitchen Really Does Matter
I really hate saying this, but it's true. Waking up to an empty kitchen does set the vibe for the day. It's like the tiniest victory before getting any coffee, and I will take any victories I can get.
17. You’ll Care Less About “Stuff”
At some point, we have to come to the conclusion that all of the tings we buy are just, well, things. The shopping sprees, the piles of randomness, the impulse buys, eventually, some numbing set of experiences takes over. Now memories and experiences become what we truly value. I love that but it makes losing the excuse of the new throw pillow all more difficult!
18. Confidence Comes Later
I am really disappointed in myself for thinking that having confidence in your 20s comes easy and not being fully aware that confidence comes over time. Each mistake is a building block. Each lesson is another piece in the puzzle mixed up until one day you wake up and think, "I actually like who I am."
19. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself
This is about boundaries. You can live your life and make decisions without explanations. That feeling is liberating, even if it may be surprising at first.
20. Little Joys Matter Most
We treasure greater milestones, but it's the little things: the quiet mornings, a good coffee, and a nice walk outside.ċċ
21. Your Circle Gets Smaller—and Better
You begin to appreciate real relationships and stop putting up with drama. You may have a smaller circle, but you have better connections. Choosing quality relationships over quantity is a big change.
22. You’ll Wish You Took More Photos
Not the posed, perfect photos—but real, authentic moments. The messy kitchen, the kids laughing, the day-to-day life. Those are the memories you’ll cherish.
23. It’s Okay to Outgrow Things
You're allowed to move on from your job, habits or even your mindsets. Growth means change and while that can be uncomfortable, it is necessary.
24. You Know More Than You Think
Instincts are built from experience. Trust what you feel. You know what works and what doesn’t because you've learned enough of the ropes.
25. Laughter Is Essential
Life's unpredictability is a good reason to laugh. ***Things go wrong sometimes, and all you can do is laugh and move on.*** It keeps you ***mentally healthy.***
26. Your Opinion Matters
I used to doubt myself for so long. Now? I now make my voice heard. Everyone's voice matters and it is worth making heard.
27. Happiness Looks Different for Everyone
A version of happiness can work differently for everyone. What brings happiness to one person may not be the case for you and that is okay.
28. You’re Stronger Than You Realize
Even with the trials life throws your way, you find a way to make it through. You adjust, you strengthen yourself, and you continue to persevere. That sort of strength is built over time without you even realizing it.
29. It All Goes Faster Than You Think
These moments will be the most memorable. The years fly by. Kids grow quickly. Life is constantly changing. So take a moment to enjoy the chaos and messiness of each moment. In time you will look back and see that these, truly, were the best of times.
And if nothing else, you’re doing better than you think. It's okay if your kitchen's a mess, your to-do list still has things to check off, and you still haven't taught your husband where the spatula is.